Monday Morning email from Two-Gun Annie

Two-Gun Annie with the red hair is kind enough to send me the occasional NRA type info that comes across her computer screen.  She shared this one earlier today.

As a kid growing up here in the Big Town of Savage I was sure I knew everything there was to know about rifles and shotguns.  I had no trouble hitting a penny stuck up in the bark of a big tree down behind the house and while I wasn't great at hunting (wild animals are sneaky critters for a kid to hunt), I did enjoy it when I had the chance.

My earliest introduction to rifles/shotguns was from my Uncle John out near Chatham, Virginia.  Mom, Dad and I would spend most holidays down there with momma's sister and Uncle John.  It helped that Lucy and John had a bunch of kids and grandkids for me to play with.

I recall one particular visit when I wasn't too old yet, maybe 11 or 12, and Uncle John was out showing off his .22/.410 over-under rifle/shotgun.  It was a single shot and designed to shoot either weapon with the flick of a switch.  He had set up a makeshift target and was shooting the .22 rifle at it.  He asked if I'd like to try; and of course I was tickled as anything to get my hands on a gun even though at that time I knew little about them.

Uncle John had me squat down and shoot the .22.  I wasn't too good at first then I got so I was feeling more confident after I landed a few shots close to the middle of the target.  Since it was a single shot gun, Uncle John had to reload it after each shot.

My next shot was much louder with a hard recoil jolt to my shoulder.  It knocked me back on my butt and I had no idea what had just happened.  Turned out that unbeknownst to me Uncle John had a shotgun shell in the chamber too and when he reloaded the .22, he flicked the gun from the rifle to the shotgun.  All the relatives were watching me and laughing their ass off.

Uncle John was kind enough to explain what happened and asked if I'd like to try the shotgun some more.  Needless to say I enjoyed the next few shots much more than that first, unexpected, jolting attempt!  Uncle John and Aunt Lucy were always at the top of my favorite relative list.

JD, with a bit more gun use knowledge today in the BToS...

Senior Texting Codes - From an Email

The neatest things show up in emails...when we have time to read them. I ain't a texting kinda guy (yet), but as an old fart I can relate.

P&P (Peruse & Ponder)
JD



Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for an STC (Senior Texting Code)

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL…CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing...Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

From an Email - Puns for Smarties

There are times after I eat too much that I don't have a fresh thot in my head and I resort to posting other folks stuff on this blog. It ain't that I'm not trying, it's just that my mind slows after all the food prep and Thanksgiving dinner, and especially after desserts. :-)

Ponder these puns from Bob as you enjoy the extended weekend,
JD

Puns for Smarties

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall..
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.