Where'd Everything Go?

Did you ever look around and wonder just where you are? Things look normal, but at the same time you’re not quite sure why folks are doing the things they’re doing. You can’t find your favorite style clothes on your favorite shopping website. You’re driving a vehicle that’s become unique because everyone else is driving something that is really strange looking. I tend to run into that regularly. The world just seems out of step.

I recently bought a used mini-van with about 93k miles on it. It doesn’t get great gas mileage and it’s a beater, but it’s a nice roomy, boxy local errand vehicle. I was driving it around yesterday; you know just checking things out to become familiar with it. Then it occurred to me that I was the only one driving one of these things. The only other ones I saw were delivery or work vehicles. All the utility-type vehicles I saw were big but they were kind of curvy and swoopy looking with really big chrome wheels and skinny little tires.

I’m not quite sure what’s happening and why the world around me seems to be screwed up. Could it be that I am the one that’s different? Have I somehow changed the way I think or the things I do or the choices I make or the friends I have or the food I like or the things I drive???

My world is the same as it’s always been, nothing’s changed! It’s as if my world is encapsulated and riding along on a train that’s traveling from the city of my birth to the city of my death. I’m riding that train and have all my belongings and friends along with me and things are great, we’re having a ball.

My train has completed at least 80% of its journey and we seem to be riding through territory that becomes more alien with each passing mile. When I look out the train windows things look different; everything from swoopy vehicles and people not paying their bills to the local church running out of members and money and being taken over by alien religious groups. I can’t find any prime time TV shows that I like, all my favorite shows are over on some obscure cable channel and I’ve seen ‘em all before. I guess the TV antenna on my train just can’t get good reception of the new shows; they look kind of fuzzy and alien. Maybe it's the new digital TV deal, who knows!

The closer I get to my destination the more alien the outside world appears, nothing looks familiar. Most of the people are nice and accommodating, but many times I can't communicate with them and for some reason they just don’t understand me the first time I speak. We stopped at a train station once and I decided to get out and get a hamburger. I tried giving my order to the gal, but she wanted me to use a number off the menu board. I had to order a number 3 instead of asking for a burger, fries and coke. She didn't understand that lingo, but the number provided an accurate order. I wonder what she would have done if I hadn't wanted ketchup on the burger?

I become more and more irritated that the world outside my train is so unfamiliar. I find myself complaining to my friends all the time to the point where I'm sure they think I'm going crazy; “This just isn’t right, what happened? Why can’t I buy that green shirt like I had before? Why are these new utility vehicles so swoopy? Why didn’t the fast-food checker speak English?"

I don’t really know or understand this new country we’re passing through. I don’t know if my train will make it to my resting spot or not. I hope so, but somehow I need something to comfort me. I think I’ll go to my room, cover up and take a short nap. Maybe things’ll be better when I wake up...by the way, who is this Obama fella anyway, is he really gonna be President? Kind of strange, ain't he? Wonder if things look normal to him?